coming soon: A Taste of Candy

I'm going to make a confession: I can't remember the last time I watched one of those daytime TV talk shows. I couldn't even tell you if Maury Povich, Jenny Jones and Sally Jesse Raphael are still on the air. But in the 1990s, I knew. And I knew because of girls like Candy Cantaloupes.

For me, when I think of the headlining mega-breasted stars of the 1990s, I think of girls like Tiffany Towers, Pandora Peaks, Lisa Chest, LuLu Devine, Toppsy Curvey and, of course, Candy. And I think of SCORE. And then I think of those daytime TV talk shows, whose writers were constantly coming up with new ways to get one or more mega-busters on their show. Usually, it was something along the lines of, "DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I HAVE HUGE BOOBS!" The girls would come out to a mixture of boos (mostly from jealous women) and applause (mostly from hopeful men) and always lots of oohs and aahs, and for one hour, TV was the ultimate in voyeur vision.

Candy was on all of those shows in the 1990s (plus…